CAESAR

by Stephen Zinda

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1.
01:23
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02:53
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03:25
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00:56
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03:24
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04:59
10.
03:58

credits

released February 5, 2020

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Stephen Zinda Wichita, Kansas

Hello there. I'm Stephen and I make music. Hope you find something you like.

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Track Name: Ambivalence
Ambivalence cause my heart is gone
Ambivalence to this fraud
Ambivalence is my friend in harm
Ambivalence to your spawn

Ambivalence blanked my heart and said "let's hurry up'n do some drugs"
Then its said "stay clean you bum, replace that crutch with love"

How about I do what I want but,
I don't wanna do what I want, ok?
Maybe I'll take a rope and hang or
Maybe just nap all day

Am I steady?
All the time
Let's make some money and live our life
Am I steady?
Never, never
I don't know if we're meant to stay together

Ambivalence, marriage, wedding carriage, arguments, and pain
Ambivalence, love you, hate you, just want you to go away
Ambivalence to the things I've done, ambivalent to my blood
Track Name: Lemme Pretend
I'm not one to lay in bed
But when I do I feel I'm dead
Lemme pretend I'm dead
Many gauges
What's the bravest
All at once?
Lay down the papers
Light me up
Just not the face

Pretty little baby, my momma says
My pretty little baby, my momma's babe
It's her fault she says
Pretty little baby, gone and take
Why did he take?

Let me hear applause
Cause sometimes I lay in bed
When I do pretend I'm dead
The world is blanked after I came
Fire reigns, there's me with wings
A throne I seat

Pretty little fire at the lake
Pretty little fire burned away
Pretty little fire burning me
Burning me and all of you

Take away
Track Name: Dopamine
Dopamine, oh dopamine
When your levels high I'm in a scene
From a movie most serene
Where I'm the king of everything
And no one's needs are going to bother me

Dopamine, oh dopamine
When you're low I'll be drinking
Thinking 'bout my shortcomings and
Why I pushed everyone from me

Dopamine, oh dopamine
Right as rain or staring blank
Needed you to help us laze
Now we're mad and pills have filled your space

Dopamine, oh dopamine
When you're low I'll crush your face
We'll get into a stupid argument about nothing
And I'll tell you I'm gonna cut your fucking head off
And ship it to your mom
Track Name: Caesar
Lie about the booze
Lie about the bruise
Lie to me, for me
Your Caesar

Do you pray to me under moon?
Will you curse my name as a loving muse?
Does your sun and moon rise around me?

So hide some, take some
Safe from my reign, my pain
Unchained from me
Your Caesar

Did your will bend because I'm cruel?
Can you truly say what you want to do?
I'm am nothing without you and me
Nothing

I'll take love born true and twist to a barbed tool
You'll sing, you'll break, for me
Your Caesar
Track Name: Gone
Gone, yes oh so gone
If I had money, oh I'd be gone
Track Name: Carrion
With Ate by his side come hot from hell
Cry “Havoc!” and let slip the dogs of war
That this foul deed shall smell above the earth
With carrion men, groaning for burial

The birds eat the carrion
The wolves eat the carrion
But who made this carrion?
The Merriman
And who made the Merriman?
The carrion

Let's have a seance and invite things to be frightening
And show how they wound up as nightlings
Give rest to their souls
Embattled since eyes closed
Crossing to and fro to end their woes
Track Name: Burn the Witch
Accused, recite the sermon
"See she can't, girls a demon"
Holy words can't come from tongue of heathens
Please stand, plead your reason
"I repent, I'm a child of Jesus"

Truths twist, loose lips, sink ships
"That bitch told me she had a friend
With the means to and end, so cut my wrists
Took my blood, paid me rich, burn the witch"

Come down to the lake
Help us prepare the stake
Grab binds and some sheets
Bring wood and some ink
Come down and we'll purify her
I can not offer alone
We never gave up enough
That's how this evil took up in our homes
We've had enough of this
We stand true
If you won't admit this proof
Your peers, they condemn you
Track Name: Feel Far Suns
Tell me your lies went through to me same as they to you
'Cause I can not take more of this

Hit with the same scent
Said them with instant (regret)
I can not take more
From blemish to eyesore

Feel far suns, pained love, cold touch
Just my luck, strung on, for what?

Tell me you know I see through
Missing a minute then two
I do not want to go through this
Tell me you're speaking the truth
All of it breaks down when viewed
Gray water's not murky as you
Tell me you know this is cruel

Only you can save you
It's something I can not do
So, you want a family?
I don't believe you
You know it's at home waiting on you
You know it's not the working hours
Fancy dinners, vacations, or random flowers

Feel far suns
Though their warmth is soft, the closer we run, the warmer we become
Track Name: Captor
My love, I've trapped you, sincerely
Like a songbird, I keep you and care for you needlessly
But sometimes I think you'd be happier outside
You would find a lover
You would see leaves green turn brown, then white
You would find a struggle, we all need a struggle
My love, I've trapped you, sincerely
I'm a bastard but I want you to see clearly
If you stay here I want it honestly

I am your captor
Can you show me honest love?
I am your captor
I leave this cage open so you can run

My love, I set you free, sincerely
Sometimes I hear you sing in passing
Only in passing
I see you're happier outside
You will find a lover
You will see leaves green turn brown, then white
You will find a struggle
We all need a struggle, not a captor

Can you show me honest love?
I think that's what I was after
How I became a captor
Track Name: Bandages
You're in a dream, you can't shake young ways
You claim you'll change
The plans we made are broke and sideways
No kids, just rent

Every week it's the same thing
"I got to talking at work and someone needs a ride
I didn't have anything to drink
I am not acting strange
Maybe I had one, sorry I lied"

And this is why we always wind up in bandages
Then we turn around and heal each other
With how many times we've been through this
It's amazing we haven't killed each other
You lie about something you did
I call you out and you get quiet
We keep winding up in bandages
Then we turn around and heal each other

I have turned into something sick
I used to be proud of me
But taking hits and doing stupid shit
I seeped through, down to you
I feel I've tried everything
I'd say you should change back, but it won't have the same ring
Talking more terminally we tip
You've proven you will not show up
And I just decided I don't want this

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